A majority of leadership courses or emotional intelligence workshops focus and highlight self-development, high performance training, and goal setting. While these approaches serve a specific purpose, there is a better, more efficient, even faster means to reaching your goals and potential. It involves the reverse – fear setting – the opposite of goal setting.
In fear setting, you first and foremost must define your fears very specifically; otherwise you cannot overcome them.
The same applies to anything scary (starting a business, giving up an addiction, etc.). You are afraid because there is a factor of the unknown. Your mid brain and prefrontal cortex are having to adjust to uncertainty, and engaging your fight or flight response. You can’t look at it. You can’t understand it, and it causes fear to persist in your mind (and even physically too). Yet if you were able to shine a light on it, then you would understand what it was in the dark. You would be better equipped to handle it, adjust your behavior, change your ways, be prepared, and know what you are next steps. This is classic risk assessment at its core.
It works exactly the same way in life with fear. If you can shine a light on it and actually look at your fears, then it takes away the power that fear has over you. Once you really look at fear from a different perspective (e.g. leadership, parenting, marriage, retirement, death, etc.), then you truly understand what it is comprised of and how to handle fear better (consciously). This is how the phrase “face your fears” became famous.
Why is this important? As with goal setting, the same can be applied to fear setting.
First DEFINE it. You write it down. What is the worse case? Get detailed about who, what, when, and how.
Secondly, PREVENT it. Write down what is it that you can do to prevent the fear from occurring? Even if you or someone assists you to reduce its likelihood by 1-2%. Any proportion will matter.
Third, REPAIR it. Write down what you can do to fix it, repair it, or get back on track? Anything is acceptable as long as it’s specific.
In essence, this is a brainstorming strategy. You can take away the power of fear and make a strategy for something real that gives you a sense of confidence and empowerment. Don’t avoid your fears; face them.
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